April 28, 2012

It's like I'm dating my blog O_O

Blog telling me to update. Me thinking "STFU."

I've recently come to the conclusion that blogs are like being in a relationship. Okay, so I've actually never been in a steady relationship. (Hey! In all fairness, I have only been wreaking havoc on this earth for X number of years, X being a number less than eighteen.) But by creepily observing the relationships of those around me and analyzing the fake crap that is spewed into my face through the media, I can tell that (like blogs!) being in a relationship is difficult, especially when it comes to keeping said relationship fresh and moving forward (like blogs!). I know my fellow bloggers out there can relate with me.

But if you're still unconvinced (or even if you are), I'll force you to read my entire post like the evil person that I am. BWAHAHA! So anyway, I'd like to prove my point in roughly X number of sections. (X, again, being a number less than eighteen. Hopefully.)

Part 1: The flirting game
There are various definitions for flirting, but for the sake of time, I'll steal one from dictionary.com. Behold, the almighty definition in all its shining glory!


  [flurt]  Show IPA
verb (used without object)
to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions; play at love; coquet.
Okay, it doesn't shine. So sue me. NOW! Imagine that you are triflingly (fail, dictionary.com, that's not even a word!) courting / acting amorously without serious intentions with a cute guy/girl (I'm just going to call this person CG for now on because it's serves the double function of being both ambiguous and easier to type). You're having FUN with this person, and you're excited because you don't know much about him/her. Who knows what untold secrets and dangerous awaits if you choose to embark on this perilous journey? The mystery! The intrigue! The thrills!

It's roughly a similar feeling when you're creating your very first blog. It's so fun because it's just so new. Experimenting with the layout and design of your blog, unsure as to where you're blog will be heading, not knowing whether or not it's going to work out for you, blah blah blah. Same deal, right?

Part Two: The official first date
So you muster up the courage to ask CG out or vice versa, and you've got plans to go on your first official date as boyfriend/girlfriend. How cute. You're nervous, but you've got a cute outfit picked out (or manly outfit, I guess, if you're that type of guy), and you're ready to rock and roll. You are still unsure whether you've made the right to decision to be with CG, but to hell with it, you're just going to have to go on that first date to find out, now won't you?

So you go on the date, nothing necessarily damaging happens, and you're thinking, Oh yeah, I'm totally seeing CG again. 

Now take everything I just said and think about it terms of writing your first post. You've got your nervous but excited mind going over what you want to write, and once it's finally published, you take a sigh of relief and think, Hey, that wasn't so bad. You're ready to write some more. Unfortunately for you, it gets worse. Oh yah.

Part Three: The point of no return 
You go on a couple more dates with CG, and with each date, it only gets harder. You're relationship is not as fresh and exciting as it used to be, and it's starting to get tedious. To top it all off, you actually have a life to attend to! Despite popular belief, you have friends. You also have school, homework, extracurricular activities, blah blah blah. Let's face it: At times, you're left wishing you could just break up with CG. You can't help but think: Whose stupid idea was it to be with CG in the first place!? Oh yeah, it was yours. Good job.

The problem is that breaking up will be more challenging than anticipated. Because there are people depending on you! Mom and Dad will be so disappointed in you, especially since they heartily approved of CG. Your best friend Bob will complain because he, too, had developed a fondness for CG. And your sister Sue will probably send you hate mail because that's just the type of messed-up person she is.

Now think in blog-like terms.

Back to the reality
Wow, that only took 3 sections! I'm so proud of myself. Anyway, as you can see, keeping a blog is freakishly similar to being in a relationship. It's seriously difficult stuff. There are times when I wanted to give up on this blog, but I came crawling back with my apologies, always persevering!  Also, assuming you actually have readers (as of this exact point in time, I don't have any because I remain unloved), there are people depending on you to update!

Sigh. It's a love/hate relationship.

-Mordant Monkey